When we were roaming like wanderers in boundless Tibet, during some introverted moments, a thought would arise and float in my mind like white fluffy clouds and recede. I would talk several times to myself “Tibet is a very religious and spiritual country, very much like India who has most tolerant and enlightened body of men since centuries. Though I am here for rather quite some time, I am not able to interconnect with any mystic lama. Their blessing in the form of illuminating words should spray and intersperse my mind like the flakes of fresh snowfall that is taking place on these huge mountains.”
Well, my wish is being fulfilled now although I did not have the prospect of meeting a wise lama in a monastery or any home in Tibet during the pilgrimage. I have come across this wonderful book titled ‘The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying’ by Sogyal Rinpoche. Through the medium of his and many other enlightened minds and Masters quoted in the book, I have got acquainted with new dimension of spiritual perceptions. So far whatever little I have read is creating an impact on me in a very encouraging way.
There is surely a shift in mental attitude and it was testified recently when one afternoon I took ill unpredictably and my physical condition deteriorated. I went to my room to rest to get some relief from the discomfort and acute pain. I was pondering over the section in the beginning of the book as I consecrated myself at the altar of God. At once my thoughts shifted from the point of pain and were set on the sacrosanct thoughts. Remembering God was valuable at this stage as I could separate the pain in the body with my higher being. It was such a reprieve to disconnect my attention from the body and to unite with spiritual thoughts. As an observer I saw then, my body as a separate object lying at a low level while I arrived at a higher plane of awareness. I remained in that state till I saw that it is the mind that is suffering and not my Spirit. If I join the mind to the feeling of pain, it becomes unbearable and I suffer. Pain is a concept of mind. If I connect my mind with my spirit there is no pain, only joy. I have an option with me of connecting my mind either with the pain of the body or the joy of the Spirit. I chose the latter.
During the sickness period, there is always tremendous churning and learning for me and it is an opportunity that is never wasted. Acute body pain proves to be like precipices, a period of intense insight every time I have to go through and they are quantum leaps of forward movement and a source of illumination.
Throughout those exclusive moments while I stayed in communion with my Higher Self gave me so much peace, so much Ananda. Absence of thoughts is Ananda, I discovered. I began to float lightly in that joy and became buoyant. Some blissful time with the source of Ananda and I was revitalized in mind and body. From the source of Ananda, blossomed these insights that physical pain, fear of losing my body is delusion. Pain is temporary while Ananda is ceaseless. Ananda and pain co-exist. If I dissolve the thoughts of body, Ananda emanates. I must attempt to stay in joy as long I can. Ananda is mine, joy is mine and that’s me. I am that.